What different people think about porn videos

THE ETHICS OF TEEN PORNOGRAPHY is still debatable among women's rights activists. The liberal wing suggests that only feminist porn should be watched and that actresses should be treated well because women are the directors. More radical activists believe that porn with teenagers, in any case, turns out to be sexual violence and leads to unrealistic expectations of women, their bodies, and their physical capabilities.

Nevertheless, porn is alive and well, and most people watch it, albeit with varying regularity. And this very fact still provokes diametrical reactions among partners, ranging from resentment, jealousy, or, on the contrary, enthusiasm to ethical rejection. We have talked to people who have thought about the compatibility of porn and monogamous relationships and learned how a love of erotica leads to divorce or tells of problems in a couple, and where the line of what is acceptable in a relationship lies.

I love teen porn videos. Like most of my friends and, I would venture to guess, millennial men in general, I've been watching it regularly since middle school age, know hundreds of actresses and actors by name, and on a particularly strong wave of procrastination I might well fall into a half-hour trip on Pornhub.com or Faponhd.com, and if circumstances permit, repeat it three or four times in a daylight hour. Though as you get older, of course, you get wiser and, just like with alcohol and junk food, you try to limit yourself.

I don't have a problem with teen porn. I know that at the beginning of our relationship both my (then future) husband and I watched it - we lived with our parents and we had sex much less often than we would have liked, but the desire remained. When we started living together, porn disappeared on its own - I think the need for it just disappeared when we had regular sex.

Now I watch it very rarely (for example, when my husband is away) and I almost always tell him about it, even though he is completely relaxed about it. My husband doesn't seem to watch it anymore - or at least he doesn't tell me about it. Once we tried to watch porn together, but it was silly, not exciting - when there are two of you, it's funny how unnatural and artificial what's happening on the screen is.

I don't think young porn has anything to do with cheating - it's different. That being said, it can have a great effect on a couple's relationship or be a red flag. If you watch porn together to see what you like or to get aroused, that's okay. If the partners are far apart or one of them is temporarily unable or unwilling to have sex and the other decides to watch porn, that's okay. But if one of you deliberately chooses porn over sex with your partner time after time, I think that's at least a reason to think about what's going on in the couple and what it is that person is trying to find in porn that they are missing in their relationship.

Also, it's important to be critical about school porn: most of the videos have a male gaze and many behaviors that I'm not ready to adopt, and I wouldn't want my partner to think that this is how it should be because he's seen it many times in porn.

As for porn and relationships, I think the former can only do you good, and all these scare stories about the inadequacy complex and libido inflation should be left to the readers of Men's Health and Cosmo. And then, I really think that this huge industrial fantasy generator makes our sex better and more varied, and appeals to "natural" sound like appeals to leave the malls and go back to the woods and caves.

That said, I naturally watch less young porn videos in relationships - even when you live alone, it's much more enjoyable to wait to meet your partner or do sexting. Now, when I start watching a porn video on Pornomanoir, I think of my partner and the video takes a back seat to the fantasy of a real person. After all, sex in a monogamous relationship is not just a candy store robbery, but rather an important enough inner work that involves altruism, active empathy, and concentration, among other things.

I think if you can't spend a minute without externally imposed desires and images, whether it's porn, Instagram or Asos, you may just be so yourself, and the problem lies deeper. I have no problem with my girlfriend masturbating to a gangbang video from time to time, but I can't stand people who, when meeting in a bar, suddenly start to get caught up in their phone, oblivious to the person sitting across from them.